Trust

Well, we have started that time of year where I spend hours in the hot sun "encouraging" my boys to swim fast. This year, Madison has joined the Swim Team as well. She is a brand new swimmer, never had any lessons before this. She is excited, yet sometimes fearful of letting go of the coach, lane rope, wall, etc. Today, she went off the starting block for the first time. I say, she went off, but she did have some assistance from me. See, she was afraid to jump in. Coach Emily was right there to catch her, but as is typical with little ones sometimes, she didn't want to jump. So I "helped" her jump in several times. I have the advantage, as I totally trust the coach and know that she won't let anything happen to Madison. But Madison isn't there yet, she is still learning what will be okay. My hope is as she swims with this coach more, she will develop that trust, and confidence in her own ability. And she has made such improvement in just the few short days she has been to practice. And she loves Coach Emily!

I can relate to Madison a bit here. I'm at a point in my life where I need to trust in God. With the recent loss of my sister, I find myself wondering if I will ever feel any better. If I will get to the point where it isn't an effort to get through the day. If I thought that this was how it was going to be forever, I think I would just give up. But I know that God is there and He will walk me through this. I just have to be brave enough to "jump off the starting block" to Him.

The prayers, cards, meals, phone calls, hugs, etc have been such a comfort to me, thank you, friends!

Sisters

My sister, Brenda passed away May 12, 2011 after a long battle with Breast Cancer. As I sit here making funeral plans and looking through photos, I'm reminded of just how special the sister relationship is. I can't speak to brother/brother or brother/sister relationships. But my sister and I have a bond that will last for eternity. She and I could look at each other across a room and know exactly what the other was thinking. We would laugh hysterically at jokes that nobody else found funny. I could call her and just give her a movie line, and she would immediately say "What channel". We could relate just about every experience to a Friends episode. And I was with her on her most important journey, the one to Jesus. I sat and held her hand all afternoon and evening until she took her final breath. And I don't think a bond can get any stronger than that.

Dance with Jesus, Brenda!

After the Show

What an amazing week and weekend it has been! Passion Project Kingwood 2011 was absolutely wonderful! I was blessed to be able to be backstage each night and see the performers coming through, helping whenever necessary, etc.

I was very anxious on Friday afternoon, right before opening night. "Would Justin remember his lines? Would he say them loud enough? What if he needs me while he is onstage?" On the way to the church that night, Justin wasn't feeling well. At that point, in the McDonald's drive thru, I just silently prayed for him, trusted God with him, etc. We got to the church, and he immediately started feeling better. I realized, that no matter how much control I think I have, God is the one in control. I was very blessed to have Justin working with some awesome people in this production, and I realized that I didn't have to worry while he was onstage.

This whole experience has been great for our family. My Ryan, who last year didn't want to see the production, sat through every dress rehearsal and performance, by his own choice. He wanted to come. And he had questions as well, so lots of good discussion has come from it. My Madison spent her time in childcare, but before and after, as we walked through the church, she always stopped at a photograph from last year's performance. It is Jesus on the cross. She will just stand there and look at it, ask questions, share what she knows, etc. She loves the music from the program, we have been listening to it for several months. She can even tell me when the different characters are singing - Roman Soldiers, merchants, Disciples, Healed men, Caiphas.

Johnny filmed each night, so I got to hear what he saw from his perspective, his camera was directly behind the Cross.

And myself. Wow. Touched me at a deep level, that is for sure. I can read scripture, do Bible studies, etc. But to be a part of something like this, to see the Gospel lived out in a mighty way, just drives home that much more what Christ did for me.

From the song You Are My King:
I'm forgiven, because You were forsaken,
I'm accepted, You were condemned.
I'm alive and well, Your spirit lives within me
Because You died and rose again.