All I Have Needed....

I was reading in Lamentations this morning, Chapter 3, Verses 21-24: Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning: great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

The holidays are among us, and with that, the realization that this is the first Christmas without my sweet sister here. As we were celebrating Thanksgiving, I recalled a time when my parents and I were meeting Brenda's future in-laws at a Thanksgiving meal. Prior to that, my mom had mentioned how funny it would be to dress in traditional pilgrim costumes and show up like that. Now, we didn't do that, but just the thought of it made me really nervous about my parents meeting Johnny for the first time years later. Memories like that bring back laughter, as do the memories I had while watching the Friends marathon last week. Those are things that I can look back on and smile, but with those smiles also come tears at times. I just miss her so much.

Christmas cards will be arriving in the mail soon, and the thought that there won't be one from Brenda cuts to my core at times. She always wanted her card to be the first one I received. ( I, on the other hand, rarely get my cards out much before Christmas Eve). She always made a special trip out on Christmas Eve to see my children and bring them their gifts. I loved talking with her about her preparations for Christmas at her work, what she was getting everyone, etc. Those are things that won't happen this year.

But, with that, I still have a family here, and much to celebrate. So how do I do that? I recall that verse from Lamentations, and remember that God will give me what I need to make it through each day, each hour, each minute. I will not be consumed by my grief and pain, because God loves me and He will carry me through this.

And, as much as I miss her, I also know that she is celebrating the Christmas with Jesus, and what a celebration I imagine that to be!

All I have needed, thy hand has provided, great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!