All I Have Needed....

I was reading in Lamentations this morning, Chapter 3, Verses 21-24: Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning: great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

The holidays are among us, and with that, the realization that this is the first Christmas without my sweet sister here. As we were celebrating Thanksgiving, I recalled a time when my parents and I were meeting Brenda's future in-laws at a Thanksgiving meal. Prior to that, my mom had mentioned how funny it would be to dress in traditional pilgrim costumes and show up like that. Now, we didn't do that, but just the thought of it made me really nervous about my parents meeting Johnny for the first time years later. Memories like that bring back laughter, as do the memories I had while watching the Friends marathon last week. Those are things that I can look back on and smile, but with those smiles also come tears at times. I just miss her so much.

Christmas cards will be arriving in the mail soon, and the thought that there won't be one from Brenda cuts to my core at times. She always wanted her card to be the first one I received. ( I, on the other hand, rarely get my cards out much before Christmas Eve). She always made a special trip out on Christmas Eve to see my children and bring them their gifts. I loved talking with her about her preparations for Christmas at her work, what she was getting everyone, etc. Those are things that won't happen this year.

But, with that, I still have a family here, and much to celebrate. So how do I do that? I recall that verse from Lamentations, and remember that God will give me what I need to make it through each day, each hour, each minute. I will not be consumed by my grief and pain, because God loves me and He will carry me through this.

And, as much as I miss her, I also know that she is celebrating the Christmas with Jesus, and what a celebration I imagine that to be!

All I have needed, thy hand has provided, great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!

The End of the Season

Well, we made it, to the end of Justin's first Kingwood Football League season. And I can honestly say I don't know much more about football than I did before the season started. But I do know this, Justin had a great time, and that is what matters. He met some new friends, learned some new skills and enjoyed being part of a team. I learned that I need to figure out some better dinner options before next season, because our two hour practices, three times a week, really messed up the dinner hour around here. Chick Fil A got a ton of business from us during the season. I also learned that in order to get the pads into the game day pants, one needs an engineering degree. Johnny informed me early on in the season that I wasn't to tell Justin to "Be sweet" as he headed to the field for a game.

I struggled some this season, missing my sister. She would have so much enjoyed watching his games. I couldn't help but think of her as I watched him out there. But I know she had a front row seat in Heaven and was cheering him and his team on during every play. And Justin knows that as well, he mentioned her quite a bit during the season.

It took everything I had to not go out on the field and give him hugs and kisses because he looked so cute in his uniform. In fact, of all the teams, I think our Cardinals were the cutest, and had the best looking uniforms! I was that mom on the sidelines that would wave to him whenever I got a chance, and he would give me that wave that says, "Yes, mom, I see you, but I've got work to do."

I am so grateful to his coaches, team mom and other parents who helped us "learn the ropes" this year. I look forward to seeing them again next year for another season. And I will be practicing getting those game day pants ready during the off season, I will not let football equipment get the best of me!

A Fresh Start

Well, we did it, we had the inside of our house painted last week. I have to admit, that our walls had some "art work" done by little hands with crayons and markers, so this was definitely needed! We picked out colors for each of the rooms, the children got to pick the colors of their rooms themselves: Ryan chose a conservative brown color, Justin chose bright blue and Madison, of course, chose princess pink! Their bathroom is a bright yellow, the master bedroom is a mossy green, the rest of the house is a nice tan, with the exception of our downstairs bathroom, which is a bright blueish-teal color, Johnny has suggested we paint some fish on the walls.

It is so nice to have a fresh start with our walls, not unlike the fresh start we get with God. Isaiah 1:18 says "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as wool". With Jesus, we can have the walls of our life painted as well, only He doesn't just cover up the sin, as the color marks on my walls were covered up. He removes those stains completely. The old is gone.

I still have the memories of my sins, and that convicts me not to continue in that way in my life, but Jesus has wiped that slate clean. All I have to do is commit to follow Him and be obedient to God's will in my life. Confess when I have sinned and then commit to change. Whether it is in my attitude toward my children, my husband, my ministry as a wife and mom, or my ministry to my parents and others. When I see that it is not in line with what God wants of me, I can get that fresh start by confessing and committing to change. And so can you!

Birthdays and Family

Yesterday we celebrated my mom's birthday. I've gotten into the habit of buying my parents gift cards for restaurants, as they really enjoy having a nice meal out together. My kids made her some really cute cards, and I encouraged them to handwrite some messages in them. (See previous post). So, we are preparing to head to my parents house, which is close to mine, and I remember the flowers. My sister always sent flowers to my mom. Now, I'm not good at sending flowers, I always remember too late. My sister didn't have that problem, I'm quite sure she had everything on a calendar, and ordered them well in advance. I'm pretty sure she also never had to pay for overnight shipping, something that I regularly have to do. I was getting myself and the kids ready, so I sent Johnny out to get some flowers for mom.

I know that I can't do everything exactly like my sister did, and even if I did, it wouldn't be the same. We are coming to the beginning of the holiday season, and these will be some pretty tough first for us: First Thanksgiving and Christmas without Brenda. I have no doubt that she is celebrating in ways the we can't even know, with our Savior, but it is still so difficult here as I miss her so very much. But I cling to Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

We ended the day with Justin's final regular season football game. His team has had a bit of a rough time with some tough losses, but he is having a great time. My parents were able to come and watch as well. I don't understand football anymore than I did at the beginning of the season, so I just wait until I hear other people from our team cheering, and then join in.

So through the happiness of family celebrations and football games, and the pain of missing my sister, I remember Philippians 4:13- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

The Value of a Card

I used to be really good about sending cards: birthday, friendship, etc. That habit has gone by the wayside in frequent years due to just being busy with life and the ease of e-mail. So much easier to type and press send.

But I was reminded recently of the value of sending a card by a member of a Bible Study. Then, a few days later, I came across a card my sister had sent me several years ago. We always tried to find the goofiest cards to send each other, it didn't have to be a birthday. There was a witty message printed on it by the card company, but the most valuable part was the message she wrote to me. There is something so special about a message written in someones own handwriting that is so precious.

So my hope is that I can continue that with my family and friends. I want my children to have handwritten notes from me, and for them to also write notes to friends and loved ones.

Who would love to receive a card or letter from you?

Ready For Some Football?

Okay, so my Justin has been wanting to play in the Kingwood Football League for about a year now. We finally signed him up for this season. He tried out, was chosen in the draft and is extremely excited!

I'm very confused with much of the equipment though. Yesterday, Johnny was getting Justin's mouthpiece fitted correctly. See, that is where I would have messed up. I would have taken out of the package and put it in his mouth and sent him on his way. But no, there are actually directions on how to use this thing. You have to cut it to the correct size, and then place it in boiling water to soften the plastic (I guess even in football, there is cooking). Then it goes in Justin's mouth, much like an impression plate at the dentist. This is when I'm really wishing they had done this before dinner, because I'm quite sure what is going to happen won't be pretty and I will be called to clean up duty. So, I leave the room. I happy to report, that other than a few threatening gagging coughs, there was no clean up to be done.

Then it is off to League Night, where parents and players get all the information they need for the season. I should have worried when I found out the Information meeting lasted an hour. How much could they need to tell? This is little league! After that, Justin got to meet his coaches and players, and happily, there is a boy he knows from our homeschooling group on his team.

During this time, I've texted Johnny, reminding him NOT to sign me up for any volunteering. See, long before I had children, I attended the baseball game of a Pre-K student of mine, and there, my aversion for volunteering for a children's sports team, was born. I saw this poor mom, in a dugout with a bunch of preschoolers who were hanging from the side of the dugout. I decided then and there that I would never reveal the fact that I have a teacher's certificate to any of my future children's coaches, because I knew that was a sure ticket into the madness of the dugout. Now, if a need arises, will I help out? Of course!

So, they get home, and Justin has his fundraiser order forms and another booklet. I look closer at the booklet, and it is a playbook. Now, I have a college degree, but I can't understand anything in this playbook. I told Johnny, that was all on him this season. I can teach reading and math, but that stuff looked like Greek to me. I guess we have PE taken care of for Justin this semester!

So we are entering a season of learning for me. I really don't know much of what to do or expect. It reminds me so much of when I first started to really dig into God's Word and desire a relationship with Him. It started with me feeling very overwhelmed, and doing a little at a time. The first Bible Study I attended covered the book of Joshua, in the Old Testament. There were many fact
questions: who, what, when, where, why, easy fill in the blank stuff. Just read the text and find the answer. Every once in awhile, there was a "what does this mean to you" type question. The study after that was Ephesians. That one was filled with less "fact" and more "heart", I really had to think and look at my own heart to answer the questions. That was so much harder for me! Much easier to just fill in a blank. The next study I did didn't have any fill in the blank questions, there were simply scriptures to look up and I had to search my own heart for the answers. I really struggled with that one. But I found that the more I studied God's Word, the more I wanted to see how to apply it to my own heart and life. And the only way to do that was to move past the fill in the blank and take an honest look at myself and my relationship with God.

It has been, and continues to be, such a great journey! Not always happy, and sometimes downright painful, But as I learn more about God and myself, I'm excited to continue on and see what lies ahead!

Justin's first practice is tonight, Johnny is in charge of getting his practice stuff together, after I asked him if he was to wear the pads with shorts or his football pants. I wonder what adventures we will have this season? My hope is that we can use this to be a light to others.

Creative Arts Camp

What a great week we had at Creative Arts Camp at church last week! All three kids participated, I volunteered, and Johnny even stopped by for a couple of days to take pictures. I just love having activities where we can all be involved.

Ryan was able to take pictures some throughout the week. He also helped with lights for the performance at the end of the week. He really enjoyed spending time with "the best teen helper he has ever had", his quote. So much fun to see him growing and becoming ready to join the youth group as well.

Justin got to be "Mr. Drama Guy" once again. We had fun learning his line, and I found myself saying it along with him the night of the performance. He also had a great time in his Pottery Class.

And my Madison. It was so nice to hear her retell the stories she learned. We had many discussions, retellings and pictures drawn of Daniel and the Lion's Den and Jonah and the Big Fish. She also entertained us with songs this week as well. And she stayed on the stage and sang every song with her group!

I got to work with some children in the afternoon doing Creative Writing. What a joy that was!

As I look over the past couple of weeks of activity at our church, I'm so thankful for that church home and family we have. The effects I see in my children are lasting, the impact the members of the church have on our lives is priceless.